Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I have been hunting for a way to confront Orcus and undo this.
A direct path seems to have been opened. I cannot turn away from that opportunity.
And there's this, this echoing crack that you hear from multiple locations.
That does not sound good.
No, no, it's, we need to be ready.
Voronox. You heard that, Lipsinki?
Yeah, sounds like daddy's home and we better get out of here.
I think it's time you make your move.
I already failed once here. It's not going to happen again.
And just slowly advance on him, Axe-Drawn.
The two of you charge towards each other and with a flash of light coming up between you,
you raise your weapons to strike down at each other.
And this huge crack rings out back in the med tent.
Flint's body's eyes open with a huge gasp of air sits straight up.
With Thea and Leosin and Glim and Bahamut all standing around him.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
Also with me today is Karla Maxted.
She, her, tonight I will be Glim, Elia, Lipsinki, maybe Animal, all she, her.
And Tom Laird.
He, him, and I am playing Flint, Moot, and Telgir.
And Amy More.
Yeah, hi. I will be playing Thea and Night Hunter, she, her,
as well as Sullivan's Light, he, him.
And joining us again today, Kristen Flemmons.
Again and always, she, her, playing Agath, Godloss, Cato, Olavi, also she, her.
And Kyle Claset.
Yeehaw, everyone. It's me, Kyle, from the Texas place.
And I'm so glad to be back playing Voronax, he, him, and I am he, him, as well.
From the Texas place.
Yes, this is your escape to the fantasy world now.
I need it, and thank you.
Yep, fair enough, yep, fair enough.
Everyone needs it.
Glad to have everybody here.
Yes, very excited about, about what's to come.
The stuff?
All this timey wimey nonsense is coming to a head, my friends.
Doctor Who would be proud.
Or, real disappointed.
Yeah, either or. It's tough to say which way it would go.
You're not fucking it up right.
That's right, we get a slap on the wrist for this.
The fact that Doctor Who hasn't shown up is, is, you know, just the way it's supposed to be.
The testament to, yeah.
It's a real show of restraint on our part.
You say we could introduce NPCs, yes.
Yeah, also have the, I also hold the right to have Orcas just eat them,
num-num, as soon as they arrive.
That's actually good to know, too.
Short and sweet.
I mean, he will play with them in his, in his, in his molars there for a little while
where you have a-
He'll play with you in our molars.
That's what I was looking for.
Oh, no.
Yep.
Oh, no.
No, he won't agree with that.
No, embrace it, Carla.
I wasn't gonna say it, but they beat me to it.
So where that happens is over on Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast,
where we have to change our rating, I think, to make it that.
But also you get an episode dedicated to you when you're a patron.
Like today's patron, Nick Jones.
Thanks, Nick.
Way to go, Nick.
Nick.
Thank you, Nick.
Oh, boy.
What time stream is Nick in?
Who knows?
There's so many.
Molar time.
Okay, let's dive in.
Fuck it.
Let's play.
Yes.
Amy thought we were going for, like, a new catchphrase.
I know.
I was like, you know, you can't change it, Russ.
You're changing everything.
You see the look of panic.
Like, I bring Orcas in.
I jump people ahead 10 years in time.
Back 10 years in time.
Nothing.
Change the intro.
Let's jump into it.
Are we a let's jump into a cast?
I said dive.
He said dive.
Fine.
Are we a dive into a cast?
No.
I was trying it out.
The look on your face is said, don't fucking do it.
I aborted.
I pulled the record.
Orcas ate it.
Nom nom.
Shoot it around on his molars.
And now we're back in the lightest timeline.
Vorunax, you rush out of the tent, followed quickly by Lipsinki,
and see before you this whirling vortex of water,
as all of the undead that you had turned away
are now cresting back up and out of the crashing waves.
And you look deep within this black swirling portal,
and you see a face that you instantly recognize.
It's that of Orcas, whose eyes lock dead on you.
I stare back defiantly despite the slight tremble
I have in my right knee, which is my bad knee anyway.
I mean, that could mean anything.
That could be fear, or it's going to rain.
Exactly.
And I kind of just reach my hand out for Lipsinki,
kind of backwards, underhanded for like a little bit of a low five.
As we stare this down.
Yeah, we can do this.
I mean, I'm not exactly sure what we're going to do,
but we can do something.
We can try.
Yeah, we can try.
Everybody else on the beach, all the undead begin
walking out of these crashing waves.
You hear the call of these undead dragons.
They're blasting their necrotic breath out across the sky,
and moving to swoop down.
So did you like call them back or something to discuss?
I notice all the zombies are coming back.
I point to the giant whirlpool in the sky
that has the goat-headed face in it.
Say, well, see, that's daddy.
And when daddy's home, they do what he says.
Uh, so, ready yourselves.
Get to where you need to be.
Yeah, if you thought it was bad before, it's about to get a lot worse.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
So does that make, who's mommy?
Well, let's just say it makes him mad when we bring up mommy.
I mean, families can look like all sorts of different things.
Sometimes there's a mommy and a daddy.
Sometimes it's just a daddy.
Yeah.
Yeah, anyway, he's, he's.
If someone could just tell me where I should be,
because you said get to where you need to be,
and I haven't, I don't know where I'm supposed to be.
Where you can hit things, I think.
That, and he points up to, to Orcus.
Or any of those, as I point out to the beach horizon.
There are options.
We cut back to the med tent as Flint's body has just shot up to a seat.
Oh my God, Flint, Flint, Flint, Flint.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Hold on a second.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was, that was wild.
How many fingers am I holding up?
How many fingers are you holding?
How many fingers do you think I'm holding up?
I mean, just the one.
Yeah.
It is, and it's the middle finger.
How did you know?
Just, just the one, you're just holding the one.
Oh my God.
Okay.
And then she slaps him on the shoulder.
Never allow someone else to put another soul inside your body
and then get trapped with them for a long time and then,
and then make us do a crazy ritual.
Yeah, all those things, all of those things.
You.
Okay.
Um, how do I know it's really you?
What's the Dragonborn doing here?
Oh, hey, I'm, I'm Glim.
It's really great to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
I've been sort of helping a little bit with your whole thing.
Cool. Cool.
And that one, who's that one?
Yeah. Hey, Bahamut, glad to be here.
Okay.
Yeah. Cool.
Cat Lord over in the corner there too.
Welcome back.
There's some problems going on outside.
I know the reunion is, is, is mighty, but once we get you back in time,
there might be more time to kind of go over the logistics of who, when, where, why, how.
Okay. Okay. Back in time.
Cool.
That are we, are we going now?
That's the plan.
Leosin is prepping the ritual.
Leosin's kind of, he's tired.
Leosin's always prepping the fucking ritual.
You see him and he looks, he looks like worn down.
Like this ritual took a lot out of him.
He's flipping pages, setting up other elements.
I'm going to need, I'm going to need some time.
Not long, but if you can hold them, hold them off
for just, just a few minutes, we'll be able to, we'll be able to send
at least the first group and then work on the second one.
Send up a signal when you're ready.
We'll, we'll go out.
Oh yes.
Flynn, maybe you stay here.
Okay. Yeah. That sounds okay for now.
Uh, Glim gives Leosin some electrolyte drink just to sort of like replenish a little bit.
Absolutely.
Doesn't look that great.
She always has some in her camel back.
Are you guys sharing a straw?
I'm just squirting it.
Right into his mouth.
Okay, nice. The, uh, looks at Flynn and says, stay.
Yeah, no, no, I, I heard you.
And she runs out of the tent.
And Glim goes out to, I wonder what Bahamut does.
I wonder, I bet he, I bet he turns into a dragon.
In the tent?
Nah.
Yeah, just fucking wrecking stuff.
Oh, that guy.
Bahamut begins to stride out.
How cool do we want Bahamut to look like?
Oh, I think he should dive out of that tent and immediately turn into a dragon.
Transform.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's pretty cool.
Here it is, I got it.
Bahamut slowly walks out onto the beach, moving the tent flap aside.
And then it begins to stretch and like twangs his back a little bit and like holds
it and he's just kind of, he bends over and she's like a deep breath.
And then he sneezes and then explodes out as this gigantic platinum dragon that skims
across the water surface towards the dragons in the sky.
That was cool.
Super cool.
Not at all an old man way to turn into a dragon, it's fine.
Nope, nope, Brad.
Did he rub some bed and gay on his back?
He just got done shoveling the driveway.
Yep, exactly.
My sciatic.
Agoth, where do we find you?
On top of Rex's back, heading to meet the front that's incoming.
Not too far because you got to maintain the perimeter close-ish to the tent so
they can't flank you, but yeah.
As the undead are coming up, what weapon does Agoth use again?
So many.
So many weapons.
And is there a cool thing that you want to use?
Do you have a post-it note up that you really want to emphasize?
Because we're mostly in the business of these scenes just describing cool shit that we do.
So I think because she's getting up on Rex's back as he's sort of already in a
gallop and galloping forward, before we're close enough for full melee,
she's gonna pull the lance off her back and throw it and make a nice undead kebab
in one direction and then grab the spear and throw that in the other direction.
And then her coolest weapon is the Revenant double-bladed scimitar.
And so then that comes out as the two-handed weapon as she's gonna start.
Just, you know, like as if you're like, what is the word for when you're harvesting grain?
Like siving wheat.
Threshing heads off of undead as Rex tramples them underfoot.
Horse tearing across.
Tabaxi were close to the water, but as I feel like Rex and Agoth tearing
up this beach are not only pushing back the undead, but also scattering the Tabaxi
back to the forest line.
There's this loud rumbling chuckle that comes out of the portal and emanates and
vibrates your chest, Vorunax, and there's...
The voice rings out not to everyone else, but more just in your head.
Vorunax, what happened to my boy?
Blood Lord, the shadow that was, that is, and will be, I have found a way
for you to assume the power that is rightfully yours sooner than now.
I ask that you trust your humble servant.
And I am definitely going for deceit here.
Roll deception, please.
That is a 26.
Oh damn.
You've already won.
If this doesn't work, you have nothing to lose.
There's this sound that emanates.
It's heard not just in your mind, but all across the beach.
It's this guttural...
Starts as a growl or moan and turns into like this shriek pitch of a scream.
The portal begins to open wider.
It begins to grow immensely in size.
Everybody who came out from the tent, you see...
Well, for the first time, because this is all kind of happening at the same time,
this massive portal that's expanding quickly now to the size of what could be a castle.
This hooved clawed leg steps out from beyond it.
Thea and Glim, you step out and you see this giant hooved clawed foot
stepping out from beyond this dark, black, roiling portal.
What the legitimate fuck is going on out here?
We were just doing a ritual and somehow they opened a portal?
Um, did the ritual open the portal?
No.
It doesn't matter.
Um, hey, um, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey.
Vernux, what the fuck man?
Um, I'm working on it, I'm working on it.
I don't think I'm working very good though.
Do you need to hit me or something?
Do you need to like make it real?
Don't stab me though, but you can hit me.
I can take it.
I don't think that's necessary.
But whatever we need to do to get the ball rolling on fixing things.
The ball is, um, is being prepared?
Yeah, he's like hydrated, he's working, um, what should we do?
Fight him, fight those undead on the beach.
What's the, what's our best plan?
Are we just staring at each other?
He seems to be coming through.
Is he coming through to talk?
Unlikely.
I'm, I'm certain he may know.
Know how?
Yeah, he's not, he's not much of a talker.
Especially when he is looking like this.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is we should probably all, um, fight.
Do any of you have abilities to negate that?
To help close that?
To help, help close that?
No.
Anything?
Uh, uh, okay.
What, what kind of, what, what, what kind of stuff doesn't he like?
You know, like, um, like I know he likes the living.
Okay.
Fair.
All right.
Like sunshine, sunshine.
It's bad for him.
Yeah.
Agoth, your scimitar is swirling and knocking, knocking heads off.
You feel a small weight jump up behind you and this blast of chaotic energy goes out
like swirling out in front of you.
Yeah, look at that.
I can do that.
See, make explosions in front of.
Oh, sorry.
Whoa.
Sorry.
I almost, almost disrupted the horse there.
Hey, hey Moot.
Hey Moot.
We gotta prove to Agoth that coming to Celestia is really cool this time of year.
Yeah.
And I'm also throwing, Moot's also throwing like eldritch glass all over the map here.
Yep.
Celestia, pretty awesome this time of year.
Definitely Flamikins is right about that.
You gotta come.
We do not even know which year.
Well, I think it's just kind of like an all the time thing.
It's like the year of our Lord Bahamut, which is like every year.
So as long as we land in a year where Bahamut's there,
it's the year of our Lord Bahamut.
I hear he's a really cool guy.
Someone was telling me that earlier.
You know, I have heard that a time or two.
Yeah, totes.
Hey, Agoth, there's a big arm coming through there.
It looks.
You see that?
How close is the big arm?
Oh, it's it's it's like down the beach, but it looks like Orcus.
It was hard to miss.
I mean, I don't know.
You want to punch that face?
Oh, I don't think you should punch him right now.
That seems like a bad idea.
No, it wasn't really like a well, now's the time to do it.
It was more of like a disbelief.
Gotcha.
Glider on the same page.
You want to climb up that that loin skirt that he's wearing
and climb all the scars and skin suit that he has on and.
Unlike you, I have no desire to be near the loins of any god.
Well, that feels a little bit pointed, but I get them.
I get what you're saying.
Maybe not that loin.
I don't want to see what's under that loin cloth.
Do you think there should maybe be perhaps less talking and more
beheading of undead?
Oh, yeah, you bet.
Watch this.
You behead them and I'll do something cool.
I'll behead a few.
And then lightning tears down from the sky,
like incinerating the bodies through the middle.
Look at that.
Undead kebabs.
That's.
Nothing impresses this one mood.
Fuck.
I mean, she's seeing some things.
Yeah, that's true.
So are they like both on the horse with me?
I just don't know.
How I picture it in my mind's eye, this is probably not physically possible,
but like Flamikinskins jumped on with moot on her shoulders,
which is really awkward because moot's a half orc.
But I really like it for like a short half orc, but still.
I thought for a moment, maybe like Flamikinskins had gone like backwards
in front of a goth.
So they're face to face having this awkward conversation.
And it was on the back.
So it was kind of like a really weird socially awkward sandwich happening.
And then she's like, I just, I didn't ask for this.
Just like, hold that thought stab here.
OK, yes, slice there.
Wonderful.
You're trying desperately to do the murder thing
and just having to make polite conversation work.
This is why you work alone.
It is.
We cut back to the med tent where Leosin is trying to busy,
not trying to busy himself.
Just killing time, really.
He's just doing paper work.
I'm just taking a drink.
Better look like I'm working hard.
Doing some busy work.
He was done about 15 ago.
But it's just trying the same cut.
I didn't actually do anything.
They all did.
The magic was all in them.
I just made it look really cool.
Uh, no, I'm trying to get this ready.
Can you?
Are you Flint or are you bored?
I'm here right now.
What do you need help?
You're right.
No, we need to get this done.
Go grab that box of thingamabobs.
The cat named the box.
It's really actually very important.
Crystals and incantation.
Essence incense is the word.
Essence.
It's got essence, too.
Essence.
Okay.
Handle with care.
Got it.
Please.
And just start setting it up around.
We'll discuss that later, I guess.
Okay.
Cat?
Cat Lord?
Oh, Cat Lord's gone.
Cat Lord?
Classic.
We cut back to Vorunax and Thea and Glim and Lipsinki.
Lipsinki, you feel as now the arm and like upper body of Orcus
and like this shadowy image of his face is just looming.
You feel a pull on the wand of Orcus that's at your back.
Like a psychic pull or physically it is moving.
A force is trying to remove it and propel it through.
To remove it and propel it through the air towards the big Orcus man
that's walking through the port.
Well, I'm going to try and grab it, obviously.
Vorunax, he's trying to get it back.
First off, hand that back over.
There's something I must do.
All right.
I mean, he's really pulling on it.
I understand.
I go ahead and I take it and I reach into my bag
and I pull out a very shoddily made like wooden horse.
It's obviously like the first thing Vorunax ever,
you know, made as a whittler or woodworker.
And he says, Lipsinki, find me where y'all are going and give me this.
All right.
I would never let go of this.
Give this to me and I should trust you.
All right.
But what are you going to do?
And then I look over at Glem and I say, you there,
father of Bahamut.
Yeah.
Can I have your holy symbol?
I know you don't know me.
If I give you this.
You won't get it back.
Is it going to stop?
No, I wasn't going to ask that.
Really Bahamut lives in my heart, you know, it's just something to focus on.
But is it going to help with that?
With your level of faith that was displayed in that tent?
I hope so.
Well, then, yeah, of course, it's just it's.
Yeah, Bahamut lives in me.
You can have this.
Okay, I take that.
And my plan is to let myself be carried away by the wand.
And as I intersect with like the portal, I'm going to or before that happens,
I would injure myself severely to be under 100 hit points,
let myself get pulled towards the portal.
And as I reach the portal, cast power word kill on myself with the locket
or with the holy symbol in hand, hoping that by the one by the two gods that remain,
one of them will help stop this portal through faith alone.
Cool.
Wait, did you not see that one coming?
We don't like it for word.
It's like he was reading from a script.
What are you talking about?
You don't like it when guests kill themselves off.
No, there's I see the direction that you are presenting.
And I like it.
Vorunax lifts off the ground, holding on to the wand of Orcus, flying through the air.
And as you are getting closer, Orcus is a lot bigger in size and in strength
and in power that he's emitting than the last time you saw him.
I don't think you've been to the abyss in quite some time.
They're being posted here to clear and destroy.
As you get, you feel the waves of the portal rippling off
and this being that's so enormous in front of you gets into view.
Those that can see through the chaos that's happening,
probably just the few that were standing beside Vorunax,
trying to figure out what to do with the portal.
You see him pierce through his chest with his sword, sticks out the other side.
Then a glow begins to emanate from the wand of Orcus.
And you see this explosion of light happen right at the edge of the portal.
And it sends out this rippling wave that courses across the beach.
We hear the sound of Leosin call out,
I'm ready, ready for those that are heading to Celestia.
I think Thea and them are probably the only ones who hear that.
So Thea looks around and spots Sully is vaulting off of,
essentially parkouring off of these undead forms,
running up the side of one and slicing a head off with his scimitar.
Slicing a head off with his scimitar and then doing a backflip onto the
neck of another one and snapping it and then slicing into it.
And Thea calls out to them, it's time, it's time, come!
Hey, hey, Moot! Moot, it's time to go, Agoth!
There's something happening over there.
I don't think, I don't think Night Hunter and Hylia and Opals are coming with us
because they said they'd stay and fight here.
And whatever just happened there, there was a lot of power going on, so I think we gotta go.
What I'm saying is, are you coming with us or are you staying to go with the next group?
And I think Agath will just give a dramatic sigh as she wheels
uh, racks around and starts galloping them all towards, back towards the tent.
It's kind of like she realizes that they are all gonna die without her.
This is not gonna, like, this is not gonna go well for them.
Look, look, look, I know you wanna die in battle, punch an orcas in the face,
what if I could promise you you're gonna die in battle, punch,
maybe not, maybe orcas, maybe somebody in the face.
And then it's victorious and it's like you punched orcas in the face.
I could make a mask.
I think you just say, like, Agath just sort of pointedly ignoring.
Moot, I think I'm getting through to her.
Yeah, yeah, it looks like you're really making headway.
Sully steps up from a body that he had previously been on top of and takes two daggers
and drags them across the neck of this undead and stands up covered in blood and says,
it's been a slice.
And then looks around and there's, like, literally no one around to hear and he's like,
gah, fuck.
And then, like, starts to run off to the, to the tent,
feeling less cool than he had just a moment ago.
Glim looks at Lipsinki, whose friend has just sacrificed himself,
and asks her, are you, are you okay?
We have to go, but are you okay?
Well, I don't, I don't, I can't believe he did that.
I thought, I don't know, I guess I thought somehow deep inside he was kind of just,
I don't know, he's just tricking y'all, but he really did it.
He, he sacrificed himself for,
I don't know if I'm all right.
I don't want to hurt you in this tender moment, Lipsinki,
but are you just tricking us?
Just want to know.
Just want to know before we thrust ourselves into a portal together.
Um, Glim's going to give Lipsinki a hug.
Of course she is.
I trust you.
I know you're going to do the right thing.
And then turns and goes to inside the tent to find Leosin so they can go.
And Dan's like, are you going to do the right thing?
But are you really?
Really?
Team Celestia head into the tent where Leosin has a new altar set up.
He says, quick, quickly.
And as the tent flap closes behind them, there's this ripple in the portal as
Vorunax's lifeless body
with the glow still coming from it, lands in Orcus's hand.
Orcus holds the body as this wave of bright, brilliant energy is fighting against the portal.
My poor sweet boy sacrificed yourself to save what these last few remaining tortured souls
of this realm.
We've made it so far together, conquered the gods, worlds, and planes,
only to have yourself extinguished in an instant.
And he squeezes his hand closed.
Disappointing.
I could bring you back to me, have you by my side for all eternity,
but you are not worthy of that anymore.
You will serve me, though, by being an example of what happens
when you cross the most powerful being to have existed.
And you see him open his hand, and a body falls lifeless to the ocean.
He looks out at everyone as this portal is now being simultaneously growing and contracting
at the same time.
Hmm. You have moments before you join me in the abyss.
Have your moment before the strongest of you are released.
You are carried to my throne.
There's this echoing, menacing laugh that rings out, and he takes two steps back.
And coming out from it are these enormous winged creatures, these huge, weathery
wings in there.
They look more like giant worms, giant, like, purple worms than dragons.
They begin pouring out into the landscape before you.
We are in the middle now.
Remix!
Middle now, isn't it?
It's a Gregorian chant, that's what we were talking about at the gook hang.
If you don't know what we're talking about,
it's Gregorian chant remixes.
You should really come hang out with us once a month.
Just become a patron.
It's so fun.
We talk about cool stuff.
So we can tell you about all the hip new things, like Gregorian chants, right?
All the rage these days, specifically.
Yep.
One of the many perks of being a patron, and that's what we're talking about today,
is that we hit a goal here not too long ago, perhaps yesterday,
and we're very excited about it because we get to do another live stream improv show.
Oh yeah.
Play by play.
So fun.
It's going to be at the end of the month here on March the 30th in the evening.
It's going to be like a, it's a Wednesday evening show.
Something to get you through to the next half of the week.
That's right.
And it's improv, so it's interactive.
We're going to put hump and hump day.
Almost certainly.
It's really setting the tone early.
Well, if you've been to any of our other live shows.
Yeah, only one of them was specifically bad.
Listen to our podcast.
Only several of them were specifically that.
Yeah.
But we would love for you to also become a patron and come join us at that,
because all patrons will be able to do so.
And there'll be interactive moments, there'll be laughs,
or maybe it will just be so serious.
It won't be, it has multiple drinks while doing live shows.
Maybe I'll have a drink or two for this next one.
Oh my gosh, you guys.
Tom's going to get lit.
Yep.
Moot is going to be the most talkative Moot has ever been.
We don't even know if it's going to be those three characters,
but Moot will be there talking.
Just popping in.
We're very excited for it.
And we want you to come join us.
And if you are a patron, all the details will likely be available
in the Discord or in Patreon, unless I went to bed before posting them.
Then if he did, they'll be available soon.
Yeah, the next day.
Exactly.
It's very exciting.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Can't wait to can't wait to do it again.
Yes.
Okay, bye now.
Bye.
Friends, half orcs, countrymen, lend me your pointy ears.
Of Mice and Men and Monsters is a podcast which combines the art
and beauty of classic literature with the fun of Dumbgeons and Dragons roleplay.
These episodes are led by me, Kate, your master teacher,
which is dungeon master meets high school English teacher.
We take on quests in these fascinating worlds,
meeting and adventuring with the greatest literary characters of all time,
solving puzzles set up by the dubious Dr. Frankenstein.
One eye is over there and the other eye is rolled over there.
Hunting Moby Dick alongside Captain Ahab.
I've rolled a one.
Of Mice and Men and Monsters is a faithful yet irreverent way
to interact with the stories which have influenced us for centuries.
Plus, it's a much more exciting way to experience literature than writing an essay.
Essays don't have swords which burst into flame or poop monsters hiding in toilets.
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A new episode of Of Mice and Men and Monsters is released
every other Wednesday wherever you listen to podcasts.
Inside the tent,
Team Celestia has gathered in the center of this altar and Leosin comes over to you and says,
this is the Soul Bridge gem.
This is what's going to power it.
The Cat Lord's somewhere.
We're going to draw from him.
Maybe, maybe, I don't know.
But Bahamut's energy is channeling into this.
And as we do this, you will go to Celestia.
I don't know what time.
I don't know how much time you'll have.
But you know your mission.
It's to warn Bahamut before this happens.
Yeah, aye, aye, Captain.
Let's go.
Yeah, we can do it.
Celestia sounds like a walk in the fucking park
compared to what's going on in here, so.
I know how wrong am I.
Oh, god.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, Sully.
Leosin steps out of the circle and he begins the ritual.
Flint is off to the side assisting
and a glowing light begins to churn around you
and it begins to flash.
You see images of outside where there's battle
and images of beginning of the proverbial darkest timeline
and all the battles that you've had
and locations that you've known
and greenery comes back and light comes back
and it's all swirling around you in this giant vortex
until you find yourself in a crashing,
huge explosion of sound.
Can Sully, like, land in a cool pose?
Sully can land however he wants.
I need somebody to roll me a set of percentile dice, please.
You can fight amongst yourselves.
Maybe a goth roll it.
Yeah, it shouldn't be me.
All right.
Oh, god.
No pressure.
You don't know if high or low is good, so really no pressure.
I have no idea.
27.
Sounds great to me.
Sounds like a good number.
Is that a prime number?
It is.
Yeah, it's gotta be.
It's gotta be good.
Important or something.
All of a sudden we're on mechanics.
All right, great.
Son of a bitch.
This explosion of sound, you land in this lush green field
at the basin of this massive wide mouth river.
There's a waterfall that's pouring over
and you turn and you look up
and you see this huge mountain range
that stretches high above the clouds.
You can barely, you can't even make out the peak of it.
Glim, you get a call and a pull
and a feeling inside of you
like you've never felt before
because this is Mount Celestia
that you are standing at the base of.
We, we're, you guys, this is, this is it.
100 percent, I feel it in my bones
and my veins and everywhere.
That's awesome.
Did you guys see how I landed?
My fist was on the ground.
So you went for marble superhero pose.
Yeah, it was so cool.
Got it.
Okay, Glim, where do we go?
Yeah, follow that pole.
Okay, I think we're going up the mountain guys
so I'm glad we've all been in training.
Oh, are you sure it's pulling you up the mountain
and not around the mountain, through the mountain?
Uh, well, I don't, I mean, through the mountain.
That, that isn't really.
Tunnels, Glim, tunnels.
Yeah, but we need like maybe a dwarf for that.
Can I ride on the horse if we're going up the mountain?
Is a horse good on mountains?
Lie.
I mean, this one is.
How about bridges?
Do not bring up bridges.
No, not bridges.
He's fairly sure footed.
Oh, cool, cool, cool.
All right.
Well, I'm feeling a little, a little winded.
I feel like.
Flammikins, we literally just got here.
Yeah, but it's not like they erased it.
I saw you riding like backwards on that fucking horse earlier.
Don't call that a fucking horse.
That'll upset a goth.
And a goth came back here to help us.
Do you see that horse?
And a goth just starts walking towards the mountain.
We all follow you.
Just like a trail of like misfit like has no business being there, people.
Behind the only person who looks qualified.
And Glim.
Goliaths do love mountains.
We cut back to the med tent and Leos and Flint are, are looking down where
the group was and now they are not.
And the soul bridge gem is sitting like it's fallen to the ground in the middle of it.
There's no way to know, but I think it worked.
OK, does this thing have enough juice in it to do that again?
He picks it up and looks at it.
Damn it, Flint.
I'm a I'm a receptionist.
I don't I don't know what I'm doing here.
I mean, that doesn't fill me with a huge amount of confidence, but,
uh, yeah, I mean, we got this, right?
We can do it again.
Yeah, you're next.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, I guess I'll I'll go get the others.
I'll get everything ready.
Pop out of the tent and walk up to Thea and say, it's, uh, it's go time, friend.
All right.
What do we see everybody else doing?
Telgier grabs the amulet that's around his neck and he he whispers a little prayer to,
uh, tear his God and he knows that there's nothing coming back the other way,
like his God no longer exists in any way, shape or form on this plane.
And he kind of looks back towards Flint and Thea and, uh, Lipsinki and he kind of just,
like, gives them the, like, not a thumbs up, but gives them like a little point
and it's like, you guys got this.
And he just like turns and like marches towards that portal.
Um, I guess I guess it's just us.
I can't believe that.
I can't, I can't believe he really did that.
I mean, we have to go to the abyss now.
I have to give him back his stupid horse.
He was my only friend.
Now he's gone.
He just destroyed him after he'd served him for all those years
and he helped him take over the whole stupid world.
He was never going to stop.
No matter who served him.
What are we even?
We gotta go.
Yep, let's go.
But Lipsinki wasn't your only friend.
Or doesn't have to be.
Whatever, don't make it weird.
And she marches into the tent.
If you turn around and head back into the tent to see Leosin waiting for you.
All the paperwork done?
Is this all?
Where's Vorunax?
Oh, okay, okay, no, this is.
Yeah, he's given us time.
Okay, okay, uh, get ready.
And he begins the ritual again.
Outside we see Elia Nighthunter and Opal.
Elia Nighthunter and Opal.
The, not the last three.
Talgir's making a stand.
You see that the two main groups have gone now
and more is pouring out of this port.
Nighthunter, I just want to say two things.
I love you.
For some reason we make it through this.
You can definitely get one of those horses.
Elia, I did not know I was unhappy till I, till I found you.
I will fight hard for the horse.
And of course, I love you.
Well then, let's take as many out as we can.
Shall it be a competition?
Sure. Opal, you want in on this?
You know.
It's a contest.
Fuck it.
Let's give it a try.
He charges forward.
And all of you on the beach, all of you remaining on the beach,
the Tabaxi who have come back out of the trees to fight.
The three of you, Nighthunter, Elia and Opal.
And Talgir who is making his way.
Towards this closing portal.
You hear another loud crack and a blast of light echoes and it blows the tent apart.
I need somebody who's part of that group to roll a set of percentile dice, please.
Not I, said the duck.
Not I.
I'm on it.
82.
Nighthunter, Elia, and Opal, as you charge towards the horde that's oncoming,
each of you make a dexterity saving throw.
25.
Oh, that's not that bad.
19.
Could have been better.
Could have been way better.
Roll a 16 on the die.
I don't have Opal's up, but it's probably like a plus 12.
I'm sure it'd be huge, yeah.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah, for sure.
Mine is a, oh shit, no.
Oh shit, no.
I'm looking at the wrong.
Oh no.
11.
It's all right though.
Those other ones are going to carry you.
You have an 11?
Okay, please don't hate me.
As light rings out and
we flash in scene and it's similar to before, but it gets
mountainous and darker for Thea, Flint, and Lipsinki.
And you crash down into this moss-ridden cave
and
there's immediately this sound of
battle happening around you.
Groaning sound of undead and undead and zombies and skeletons are blasted back
from your location.
Undead and zombies and skeletons are blasted back from your location.
You have appeared in the middle of what is an enormous battle and off to one side you see
a figure standing atop a high throne.
His long white hair down over his purple maroon skin who looks surprised to see you.
You hear calls of panic behind you and you turn and look and Thea you see a familiar face.
Couple of them, Margaret and Lex.
And then there's another crack off and to the right in the middle of this
horde and more are blown back.
And Night Hunter you land hard to the ground.
There's the sound of a desert wind that cuts through all of the chaos that's happening and
we find ourselves back in Callimport and there's large doors that bust open as Yenbul
runs through the entryway of her home.
Hello is anybody here?
Darling Yenbul is that is that you?
Oh oh I'm I'm so happy to see you.
I is it oh she's here.
Dear she's returned.
No Yenbul.
Come here darling.
Yes.
It's it's so it's so wonderful to see you I feel like I haven't seen you in a lifetime.
Darling why why are you so upset why you cry don't cry.
It's just it's been it has been so long since I have seen you and I love you so much and.
Well I love you too dear but it hasn't been that long I mean.
Doesn't feel like that long does it?
It is you know it wasn't short but.
I mean we've only been through maybe five vintages of the wine since you've left.
Don't get me wrong I missed you.
Yes.
Definitely but.
But sometimes when you're traveling it feels like you are away from.
You get homesick that's fine yes I understand come to mommy.
Yes come in come in would you like some cognac.
Well.
Sherry port.
Something.
Port.
Oh just go get them all dear.
Okay yeah yes yes yes uh Pippery drinks please.
Pippery Pippery come oh sorry sorry.
Geez we might have to swap out Pippery seems to have a hard time hearing these days.
How have things been here?
Oh you know in in Kellenport it is safe it is everyone is well.
So fun.
Well I did notice some some new folks sort of giving us funny looks the other day and I didn't
I didn't much care for that but but really you know it takes all types they say.
But sit down darling what what's wrong you seem so emotional did something happen.
I I don't think I can really explain but.
Right well maybe you could explain the strange dialect you've picked up along the way.
Sound sound like the child we raised.
Oh she's probably just hanging out with some of those cool friends of hers.
Oh do you have some cool friends these days.
Have you made cool friends in your travels?
I know you always said you wanted to.
The room begins to get darker as you're discussing.
Huge storm clouds begin to roll in not from the ocean but from the land.
Pippery didn't tell me we'd have weather.
Sorry something terrible is about to happen we need to.
Oh it's just a little rain darling don't be over dramatic.
No you don't please just we need to stay safe.
Who do we need to pay off just tell us we can we can go into the coffers and
muster up enough.
I can sell my fourth ring of three wishes.
I'm just kidding I wasn't able to get that another person beat me out at the auction.
He was so upset darling you should have seen him.
Just going on and on about still going on and on about it.
I am not trying to be dramatic but we have to go to the palace and we have to go see the
Viscount he is the only one who can who can help stop this and gather the troops and
please just believe me please.
Darling stop what?
The Viscount is a very busy man it usually takes at least a week or two to get on his appointment.
Something terrible is about to happen and it's going to happen soon and everything.
The bells begin to ring at the watchtowers outside the city.
We must go.
Well if it'll make you feel better darling I'll just.
Yes please please just humor me let's go.
All right it's been a while so I guess we we can humor you a little bit.
I'm like physically pulling them with me like we need to go.
Oh okay Pippery forget the drinks ready transportation.
You could bring the drinks too that would be all right.
Bring the drinks and prep prep you know what yeah do both of those things we'll be ready.
You've had many drinks sir.
Don't tell me things I already know Pippery get the horses ready.
We hear the sound of a carriage take off down the street.
Dumbgeons and Dragons season 2 episode 114.
Starring Amy More as Thea Amastasia,
Sullivan Sleight and Gael Nighthunter Ogala Kanu.
Carla Maxted as Yen Bull Nuri, Glim, Elia Strong and Lip Sinky.
Tom Laird as Tulkier Heavyfoot,
Flint Firebeard and Moot.
With Kyle Claset as Vorunax,
Kristen Flemmons as a Goth,
Godloss Catho Elavi,
Peter Joseph Lewis as Orcus,
and Russ More as your Dungeon Master.
Editing, Production and Sound Design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers.
Gabriel Lynch,
Jessica Babyok,
Cat Waterflame,
Jacob Madden,
Christian Brown,
Devin Michaels,
Craig Zeiss,
Aaron Stevens,
Darylith,
Lulahan,
Sharlee Warley,
and L.A. Branton.
To support Dumbgeons & Dragons and our many other productions
and get access to an exclusive podcast called The Adventures Of,
bonus episodes and much more,
please join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash dumdragoncast.
You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumdragonpodcast
and on Instagram and Twitter at dumdragoncast.
Thank you for listening.
Have a great week.
We'll talk again soon.
I'm just gonna grab it.
While you're looking at spell sheets.
Let's cut over to Moot and Sully.
Well that doesn't allow me to look at a spell sheet, Russ.
Let's cut over to Sully.
He said S.
Like it's actually just filled with my Korean skin creams.
Be careful.
They're imported.
We cut back to the beach.
I don't want to be at the beach.
Well, there's still like, there's still a team back at the beach.
So many people at the beach.
I just prefer to just be in Celestia.
I guess it just feels a lot less pressure.
We go back to 1982.
Yes.
Everyone looks amazing.
The hair is big.
There's so much eyeshadow.
It's incredible.
The music's spot on.
You find glamvaronox.
And he is serving looks.
All day.
He stays ready so he doesn't have to get ready.
Hair teased for the gods.
Or one.
Yeah.
In particular.
Something terrible.
He will be by the end of this day if he keeps acting like that.
Rude.
I mean, I thought he was going to kill you.
So I'm much happier to have you in the abyss.
But you're going to die.
Not that I don't have complete faith in you, of course.
But it's like.
Well, it is like two, three schmoes against Orcus
and the whole army of the undead.
But I'm sure we'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
It's going to be fine.
My heart will go on with Nighthunter.
I've abandoned you.
Mid-battle.
I'm never going to win the body count.
Never going to get that horse.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.